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January 31, 2006
Reprint-"Return"
This is a poem that I posted once before on my blog, but not alone. It is actually part of a much larger "journey poem" that needs a fair bit of work. Since I have been reflecting about Pakistan in recent posts, I thought that this poem about the last time I actually went there (1992-93) might be good to post. In all honesty, I think I rather need to reacquaint myself with Pakistan, its culture, and the its culture inside of me even more.
return
i stand and breathe
my last few gulps of air duty-free
shuffling up the aisle of this airlock
between atmospheres
soon i will be complete
torn into a duality
that appears unseamed in separate hemispheres
that tears each time they meet
at the touching of my sleeping eastern flesh
with east
i walk from the door
and I am me
in ways that i have not been for years
as thick warm eastern air enfolds me
and fills my lungs
displacing stale indifference
and leaves me coughing
sputtering
amidst these warm embraces
invading my protesting western space
amidst these cluttered streets
breaking life into me
more honest and complete
it may take some time to breathe
Posted by jackdas at 2:00 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 30, 2006
Forest Park Soundtrack
Photo courtesty of explorestlouis.com
One of the many brilliant, free things about St. Louis is its crown jewel, Forest Park. Take a gander at these Google images pages. And even though I like my winters to be cold and snowy, yesterday was just too lovely and flirtatious a day to ignore its wooing.
So after church I decided to take a hike there, and with the goal of going off the paths. The only flaw in the plan was to not go home and change my shoes. Instead, I chose to go with the thrift store Doc Martens that I bought the day before which I had nowhere near broken in. My heels are still sore. But the pain did not begin until I was about 2/3 of the way through, so there was not much to do about it.
I imagine that there is probably not one inch of the park that is virginal, no line of its contours which has not been artificially shaped, but such shaping has been very well done for the most part, and that, combined with some magnificent buildings, often create the effect of being on location for a Jane Austen movie. Or for fleeting moments, one can imagine oneself on the shoulder of a mountain.
The most evocative moment of the afternoon, though, came from another, quirkier, blend of nature and human endeavor. It came as I was walking up a somewhat thickly wooded hillside. There was contant, high-pitched breathy drone from Highway 40 about half mile away. Immediately I was reminded of being at the top of a Himalayan peak in Pakistan, either amidst the pines (Mushkpuri) or just above the treeline (Miranjani). It was very like the sound of a strong wind rushing through their needles.
And for a fleeting moment I felt the lonely, joyous-sad, make-you-breath-deeply, feeling I felt then.
___________________________________________
Mushkpuri (9243 ft) and Miranjani (9763 ft) are mountains right next to one another. Miranjani has the more spectacular views, being higher. See picture with unknown tourist below. Mushkpuri is the snowy, lower peak in the background. It has more pine trees. I like peeking out from their cosyness toward the lonely, spaces and far-off peaks. Its top too, though, is tree-less, where once we used plastic groundsheets for improvised sleds. Brilliant.
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January 27, 2006
From the Vault II
Alumnus Yearning
O for a cup of chai
O for the mountain pines
O for the fellowship swee
A moment in space and time is gone
But love of friends
And love of Christ
Live on.
_____________________________________
Commentary from Ache for Eternity is in the comments.
Posted by jackdas at 1:44 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Slanting Light...
...is one of the lovely things of the world. I cannot decide, though, if it is more the light itself or how it illuminates things differently that I like.
This morning it was both. Driving into work, crossing the state line into Illinois, listening to Sufjan's Steven's album of the same name, a bright, yellow sun was rising up and streaming on to the city of Alton. There seem to be a cliched set of words we use to describe sunlight, some of which I used in the previous sentence, but cliches are cliches exactly because they often express the sentiment best.
Alton, a city on a river bluff was perfectly situated to catch the light. It was awash in a light. The buildings were clean and fresh, like a baby just out of a bath. Further up the bluff, the eastern side of branches of trees were as white as birch bark. If not for the lack of sparkles, I would have sworn there had been an ice storm the night before.
Dramatically adding to the effect, indeed perhaps the only reason I paid attention to these pageants of beauty at all, was a dark, grey bank of clouds in the west behind them.
Ouch.
Posted by jackdas at 1:26 PM | TrackBack
January 26, 2006
Two From the Vault
7/23, a fractional accounting of sorrow*
(reflection and epitaph)
a sabbath cycle sets this year, mom
and me 23
that means that come this time in a year
a third of my life will have gone by
without you
and slowly it goes on
the gradual slide to accept as commonplace
the thought that chilled with horror
my cozy childhood heart; me alive
without you
and so it will go on
until God moves His hand
in countless moments of joy and pain
the sun and rain will weather me
without you
------------------------------------------
God, please let the mantle fall
of one who loved you well
and let me live like her
as she sought to live like you
and pierce and punctuate
the busy fabric of my life
with memory
infinity lite
i like the stars at dusk
one or two
that nestle in the blue
of a slowly darkening sky
as if they too
were only mirrors
like the moon
and hung within the tether range of earth
__________________________________________________
*The current fraction? 19/36, over half a life. Commentary from Ache for Eternity on both poems is in the comments.
Posted by jackdas at 8:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Copycat-But Beauty Wants Sharing
This screen shot is from a whimiscal/beautiful advertisement, or "advert" as the Brits call it, that I became of aware through the auspices of Junkmail for Blankets via Karagraphy, two blogs which I highly recommend to you.
Click here to see the advertisement. Have patience and view a high definition version, perferably the long one. You will be rewarded.
Click here to view the making of video. It takes a bit of the magic away, but is fascinating. A man on the video notes how easy it would have been just to do this digitally, but that there is an "extra bit of soul in doing something real." Amen to that, though I still want a digital camera.
No definitive word on whether the frog was planted, but I have my suspicions...
Posted by jackdas at 8:25 PM | TrackBack
January 24, 2006
Band of Brothers
Nathan, Neil, Lloyd, Jesse
How good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in unity!
It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.
It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.
Posted by jackdas at 5:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 20, 2006
New Year's Trip Selections
Posted by jackdas at 6:07 PM | TrackBack
Way Cool Gift, But Snug-Back to the Bike
Plus...
...another new banner
...a new blog on the blogroll
...and a new link section hightlighting reviews
Posted by jackdas at 6:06 PM | TrackBack
January 14, 2006
The Silence of Adam-The Procrastination of Neil
Jeremy Huggins recently wrote a post referencing what he calls "the only marriage book I’ve found of any value," As For Me and My House by Walter Wangerin, Jr. His description prompts this post about what I consider "the only book on men I've found of any value," though I have not read widely in the genre. OK, I have not really read anything else in the genre, and really the only other book on men I want to read is Walter Trobisch's All a Man Can Be.
And I have not even finished reading The Silence of Adam by Larry Crabb and Don Hudson and Al Andrews, but I am already convinced of its excellence. I knew it was excellent before I even read it as it "kicked the butts" of both my brothers by their own admission. That is why it took me so long pick it up and is taking me so long (1 year plus) to finish it. Once you know, you gotta do something.
There are many excellent passages in the book thus far; a few good ones follow, which have wisdom that is often applicable to Christians of any gender. All of the books mentioned herein, I believe, can be purchased here.
Once we become Christians, our most important decisions are often made in the darkness, with only God's light. We must trust a God who often does not tell us exactly what to do. The Spirit more often whispers encouragement ("You can do it. I am with you") than directions ("Now go tell her this"). We must develop a relationship with Christ in which we come to know him well enough to behave just like he would, to sense what he would do, what he might say. We must honor our calling to reflect his habit of moving through darkness toward beauty.
God calls on men to speak into darkness that sometimes stays dark, even after we speak. We must not search for a flashlight to shine on the path. When we insist on knowing what to do in trying to achieve our goals, we are fire-lighters.
Lighting our own fires is a natural tendency in every fallen man. And that tendency is clearly visible, not only in the relational crises of life but also in our everyday style of relating. Men who routinely light fires rather than trust God reveal their lack of manliness most significantly in the way they engage other people, particularly women. It is to these unmanly patterns of relating that we turn in the next three chapters. (113)
Line up a hundred men. Watch them closely for one week. With only a little discernment, you will recognize one of two patterns in their dealings with people. Seventy or eightly men will be ruled by a passion called neediness. Something inside them needs attention. The chosen few on whom they deeply depend are required to think about them and treat them in a certain way. They are more than willing to do their part, to do the right thing, but their goal is always the same: to get something from another person...
The other twenty or thirty will be ruled by a very different passion. The passion that controls thier behavior, especially their behavior in personal relationships, is not neediness. Rather it is toughness: a proud, "I don't need you or anybody else: sort of attitude... (117)
Manly men release others from their control and encourage them with their influence. They touch their wives, children, and friends in sensitive ways that free them to struggle with their lonliness and selfishness and pain. Manly men nudge their family and friends to the same crossroads where they, as men, have found that trust or unbelief must be chosen.
Unmanly men require their friends and family to meet their demands. Men who move with control, anger, and terror deaden others into conformity or incite them to self-preserving rebellion. (119)
Ouch, are you sure I can't get some anaesthesia for this....
Posted by jackdas at 2:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 6, 2006
New Banner
Today is Epiphany, the day my father says is the right time to take down Christmas decorations. Well, the decorations at the apt are staying up for a wee bit longer to prolong the cheer and maximize the care in putting them up. The blog is de-decorated however, with a new Narnia-esque banner courtesy of my brother to at least keep the winter theme going.
Oh, for a nice wet snow like this one with its monster flakes. A snow with smaller flakes because it is colder would be even better, particularly if the accumlation were greater and stuck around for longer.
Posted by jackdas at 4:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 1, 2006
Prince Caspian? Dawn Treader? Silver Chair? Horse and His Boy? Magician's Nephew? Last Battle?-Discuss the Future of the Narnia Franchise
I suggested a discussion on the blog of a film critic whom I like to read who reviews films from a Christian worldview. He posted my discussion starter as an entry on his blog. Join in here if you like.
Posted by jackdas at 3:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
New Year's Day
Posted by jackdas at 2:59 AM | TrackBack
San Antonio Polar Bear Club-Baptizo
There is one, the SAPBC that is. Wussily, they take their dip on New Years Day. Come on, it is San Antonio after all. Why not midnight at least? Tonight my brother ponied up and came through on a promise and stripped down to swim trunks and jumped into their San Antonio pool just after midnight. I, clad in jeans and t-shirt, removed my wallet and followed suit, regretfully forgetting that I also wear glasses, which had to be recoved on a subsequent, and much chillier, dip.
Michael Green in his book Baptism states that he will not re-baptize individuals who come to him as adults, thinking their baptisms as infants did not take as they were not volitional on their part. Instead he performs a ceremony for them to "remember the waters of their baptism." There is only one baptism. Amen to that, but I like the practice of the remembrance of one's baptism nonetheless. I need that kind of reminding every day, especially these days. So, I am using tonight's dip to remind me of my baptism, to let it wash away the old, sinful patterns of behavior and unhelpful thought patterns, and to let its shock remind me to seek the Holy Spirit of baptism in a new way.
Happy New Year and may God bless us all richly in the coming year. May His peace bleed from us to all the world.
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