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April 30, 2008
A Little Like Lars; Only a Little
I was talking with a freind tonight how blogs can be funny things, and how sometimes people can oscillate between unhelpful openess and unhelpful holding back from the sharing of thoughts that really may help or encourage someone else if only they were shared. This seems to be a perpetual conversation I have with both fans and foes of blogging. In fact, I think these oscillations in openess often come to find their place in the blog life cycle (yes, I believe there is such a thing, but that will have to wait for another post), until the blogger finds his or her voice and settles down to do what they find is most helpful for them and their readers. Do people really think in these terms about their blogs? Probably not, but I sometimes do, and from what I have seen these dynamics do play out in a sort of trial and error process for many bloggers.
With regard to this blog, I have been told in the somewhat distance past that one friend stopped reading it, because she thought it too personal and revealing. That may be one of the reasons that it now features pictures more often than not, but not the only one. I really like to take pictures!
Perhaps blog entries should have ratings, like the rating system for video games. For example the rating for the following entry might look something like this:
In all seriousness, though, I really appreciated the movie Lars and the Real Girllargely because I could resonate with it on several levels. I could resonate with a movie about a dysfunctional man who buys a sex doll, you ask? Well, first of all, you should know that the role the sex part of the sex doll plays in the movie is very minimal and inconsequential. It is, indeed, a sex doll, but the setup is not generally exploited for cheap laughs, which would have only served to undermine the point and power of the parable of the movie. And, it is indeed a parable, an implausible, exaggerated story told to make a point, a sweet and moving point.
I did a recent Facebook status update saying that I have a cardigan very similar to Lars', which I do, but which I also meant metaphorically. In some ways, though thank the Lord not in such extreme ways, I can relate to the concept that deep wounding and pain can have long lasting effects that stretch into the future or ambush us when least expected. In fact, I believe we all can relate to this, on one level or another. For some the wounds seem deeper, though, and their (our) ability to bounce back seems to be not as robust as that of others, for whatever reasons, which may or may not be ever understood.
In the beautiful little movie The Spitfire Grill, Percy Talbot says, "“You suppose if a wound goes real deep, the healing of it can hurt almost as bad as what caused it?” When I first heard that quote, I thought "Wow." And, again, I think we can all relate, whether it be the healing of our emotional hurts or even the healing of our souls in discipleship as we recover from the self-inflicted wounds of sin. The cure may, indeed, need to be as painful as the wound caused by the sin, even if we do not bear the penalty for that sin ourselves if we are believers, as Eustace could well attest to as a result of his dedragoning.
Without giving out too many details, which would make the hypothetical rating I gave this blog post an accurate description, I also resonated with Lars and the Real Girl because Lars' past did involve the death of a parent, the extreme sorrow of the remaining parent, and subsequent stunting of his ability to deal with life and relationships well, a stunting characterized sometimes by paralyzing fear.
Another thing that I really appreciated about the movie was that though the reactions and altruism of the townspeople toward Lars are implausible, the love of Lars' sister-in-law for Lars and Lars deep concern for her, which he is unable to express, are not implausible. People can and do love one another like this. I loved how his sister-in-law deeply cared for him and loved him. I have received great care, too, from lovely sisters acquired through the marriage of my brothers :)
Nor is his relationship with his brother unrealistic. Perhaps the resolution that occurs, a confession of abandonment which is followed in very short order by forgiveness, is rather foreshortened compared to how the process generally works in real life, but brothers do talk with one another, come to understand one another, forgive one another, and learn to love one another better. And it is amazing to watch Lars' brother grow as a man before our very eyes. That is another characteristic of many movies that I am drawn toward; they make me want to be a better man.
Needless to say, I highly recommend the movie. I apologize for the slight spoilers. I do not think they spoiled too, too much, however. Finally, finally a brief note on one of the endorsement on the cover of the DVD. Maxim magazine writes "A whimsical, funny, moving film!" First, though the latter two adjectives do apply and especially the last one, I do not think I would call the movie "whimsical" exactly. OK, maybe a scene or two, but that is it. On a broader level, I do not think that Maxim magazine should be allowed to use the word "whimsical," in any case. It does not seem to be a word that fits well with the purposes and mindset of the magazine at large, a mindset which, sadly, I too fall into from time to time, a mindset which has nothing at all to do with the delightful, almost holy, quality of whimsy.
Oh, dang it! That last line might just have earned the rating.
Film, Music, Television, Books | By jackdas | 11:27 PM
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Comments
After reading your review of "LARS AND THE REAL GIRL" I'm eager to see it. I admit that I was put-off by the sex doll, but knowing it’s not a major part of the plot helps.
P.S. Now as far as blog rating go there should be a category for a warning advisory that states: “The blogger was too lazy to do a proper post so the viewer can expect a quiz or utube video". I'm guessing my blog would fall into that category more often than not.
Posted by: Heidi Vincent at May 1, 2008 11:22 AM
i like the interaction of different dynamics in this post...critique, self-revelation, asking good questions.
related...i was having a conversation too, about how weird it is that we somehow convince ourselves that confession (to God, with others) will cause us deeper wounds, when in fact it can and often does lead to considerable healing in ways that cannot happen if we allow festering in our minds/spirits/hearts.
Posted by: ange at May 1, 2008 11:42 AM
Yeah, Heidi, watch it. I think you will like it.
Angela, I think your second point is very true, of course sorting that out in the blog format, as sorting out all emotional/spiritual questions is, can be tricky, but I believe it can be managed if we are willing to work on it. Perhaps some of the same guidelines should apply as do with public confession in church, which far too few churches do in any case.
Posted by: Neil E. Das at May 1, 2008 12:43 PM
And with regard to your first paragraph, yeah, I guess, for better or worse, this is a sort of reader response movie review.
Heidi, we should come up with more blog ratings. May be I will work on the one you suggested. Perhaps a big "L" for lazy? In all seriousness, sharing links can be very cool. It was one of the original purposes of the Weblog or blog, to share cool stuff one found, which in any case often reflects one's thoughts and may generate good discussion, even if that discussion is only whimsical, which as I noted is high and holy stuff. Delighting in the sloths for example :)
Posted by: Neil E. Das at May 1, 2008 12:53 PM
;)
Posted by: Heidi Vincent at May 1, 2008 1:01 PM
