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May 14, 2006
Mother's Day Letter
Dear Mom,
Hi! Well, its been a while since I talked to you. I know I am not really not now either, but that is not important. It's been almost 11 years now and sometimes I feel I haven't grown a day since you've been gone. Of course I have, really.
Physically, that Bodenbach body that you always warned me I'd have to keep an eye on weight-wise has been doing exactly what you predicted. I remember your admonitions when I was a boy, "OK, Neil, that is your last cookie." On the positive side, though, Mom, I have the broad shoulders of a man, and the beard I always worried would never fill in has, and I grow it at least once a year. And when Adi and Virg and I are dressed up, I think we would make you proud.
Mom, I've grown relationally and spiritually too. It is funny that I've become quite the thinker. It would have been nice to know what you would have thought of that. You probably would have brought me back down to earth at times. Also, Mom, at times I really feel God is able to use me relationally to encourage and help people, and someday I may even find that I am supposed to be a pastor. I am not sure about that, though.
Despite all that growth, though, Mom sometimes I feel emotionally just like that boy of 16, needing you there to affirm me, to give me wisdom, to pester me about girlfriends, and to provide a lap I could sit in no matter what size I got to be. Also, a "khoe" affects no one quite the way it did you. It would make goose pimples rise on your arms....If none receive "khoes," different women do at times seem like "mother," though, in various ways. None, of course, could ever replace you, nor is that what I am seeking, but sometimes a word, a touch, or an action will remind me of the gap your absence leaves in my life.
Well, Mom, just a few more things. Dad has been great. He loved you and loves us deeply. Sometimes I have not appreciated him enough or cared for him well enough. Of course, things would be much different if you were still here, but I know, I know, I know that God knows exactly what He is doing, and I love Him.
I do not know if you are reading this over my shoulder or not, or, perhaps, I am there with you too reading, reminiscing, and rejoicing in God in the light of the Eternal Day.
Much, much, much remembered love, your former son,
Neil :)
____________________________
Judging from the number of years mentioned in this letter from the time of my mother's passing, this letter was written in 1998.
Readers, thank you all for indulging a rather emotional string of posts this past week. Blessings on you all.
Personal Growth or Lack Thereof | By jackdas | 9:49 AM
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Comments
Neil, that was beautiful. I just had to tell you that. Hope you are doing well.
Posted by: Leighann Fuller at May 17, 2006 8:07 AM
